Orleans Centre for Marriage and Family
A selection of the TTPT articles has been published by Mascot Books under the title Table Talk and Pillow Talk: A Guide to a Happier and Richer Life and Relationship. Between the covers of this book, you will find help to make a good marriage better and transform a bad one into a good one. You will gain insights into your own dynamics and those of your marriage and receive practical tips to experience a happier and richer life and relationship.
Those articles were written to help to enrich a marriage, to make a wise choice either to leave or choose a mate, to nurture the struggling, to heal the hurting, to empower the weak, to comfort the sorrowing, to give clarity to the confused, to challenge the stuck or to provide hope for the despairing. You may read this book from beginning to end, or you may read just the parts that interest you most.
Table Talk and Pillow Talk: A Guide to a Happier and Richer Life and Relationship is available in hard cover as well as e-book form. The former retails at $26.95 Canadian or $24.95 US and the latter about $10.00. You may obtain them directly from Arjen Kouwenberg (email or 613-837-9412) or from North American retailers such as:
Here are some comments by reviewers of the TTPT book:
“Your work is healing, encouraging and inspiring... I found the material compelling. You have a true gift for seeing the best in humanity and drawing the best, the most compassionate and empathic sides of us to the surface. You give hope in this troubling world... I expect that many relationships will be improved, repaired and saved with the wisdom in these pages.”
B.Sc. H., Federal Public Servant
“His signature trait in his literary compositions, as well as during his one-on-one sessions, centers around providing a base about wanting to do ‘the right thing’ rather than stewing over how ‘you feel about it’ and not taking action... I view his writing as a psychological Bible that I keep in my ‘back pocket’. There are never enough of these mentors in today’s world mandated to promote good will and behavior for the present and next generation.”
B. A., Retired RCMP Officer
“His writings as a therapist display a deep understanding of the human condition, and compassionate, practical and helpful advice for those experiencing the issues which he has faced in his counselling office, and of which he is very qualified to write.”
D. Min., Clinical Fellow & Approved Supervisor, AAMFT
“Dr. Samuel Raj is a seasoned therapist who places compassion as the cornerstone of all clinical interventions. Throughout his long and full career, he has shown himself to be an astute clinician, a knowledgeable pedagogue and an indefatigable advocate for the best interests of his counselees and of all those who suffer from emotional and mental distress... Dr. Raj is a craftsman in the true sense of the word, since he has used his clinical wisdom to create practical teaching tools. I have used them with much success over the years and I am sure that many of the readers will also see in this book the potential it offers to help those in need.”
Dr. Nikita J. Eike
From her Foreward to the Book
Here is a list of chapters and articles:
1. You Deserve the Very Best
2. Like, Love and Freedom: A Story
PART I – RELATIONSHIP
Chapter I: Basic Components of a Happy Marriage
3. Happiness in Marriage 101
4. Marriage as a Haven of Rest
5. The Marriage as a Garden
6. An Essential Ingredient to an Intimate Marriage
7. How Well Do You Feed Your Mate Emotionally?
8. The Gift of Touch
9. On Sexual Giving
Chapter II: On Listening and the Gift of Presence
10. How Well Do You Communicate with Your Mate?
11. Do You Want to be Heard?
12. Do You Want to be a Good Listener?
13. Meeting at the Deepest Level
14. The Gift of Presence
Chapter III: Dealing with Spousal Differences
15. Dealing with Differences in Your Spousal Life
16. Living with a Spouse Who is a Pain
17. Breaking a State of Paralysis
18. When Your Desires Differ from Your Mate’s
19. Getting the Most out of a Challenging Relationship
20. Letting Go of ... Taking Charge of...
21. “This isn’t Fair”
22. Handling the Child in You Constructively
23. Money in Marriage
Chapter IV: On Mate Selection
24. Mind, Heart and Body: Some Thoughts on Dating
25. Some Thoughts on Mate Section
Chapter V: What Brought You Together
26. The Deeper Dynamics of “Falling in Love”
27. From One Generation to Another: A Very Human Story
28. For the Sake of Wholeness
Chapter VI: Hurting in Your Marriage
29. Where are You in Your Marital Journey?
30. How Does “the Feeling of Love” Die?
31. Living with a Not-So-Nurturing Partner:
Insights into Underlying Dynamics
32. Living with a Not-So-Nurturing Partner: Some Practical Tips
33. On Relating to and Being a Martyr
34. Transforming Your Unhappy Marriage
35. How Do You Handle Emotional Statements from Your Spouse?
36. How Come Some Have It?
Chapter VII: Thinking of Leaving Your Marriage?
37. When You Think It is High Time to Move On.
38. “I’ve Moved On”
39. Divorce: A Physical Solution to an Emotional Problem
40. The Ahab Syndrome: A Story from Ancient Middle East
Chapter VIII: Enriching Your Relationships
41. Some Wise Sayings
42. Affirming Versus Negating
43. When You Hurt, What Do You Do?
44. Accepting Versus Celebrating
45. Healing Your Hurting Relationship
46. How Do You Deal with the Difficult People in Your Life?
47. On Relating to Difficult Parents
48. On Being a Stepparent
49. Two Models of Relationships: Power Versus Healing
Chapter IX: On Forgiveness
50. Healing the Hurts We Don’t Deserve: Forgiving
51. Essentials to the Experience of Forgiveness
52. Two Types of Forgiving
53. Judas Versus Peter Syndrome
54. What is in Order: Resignation, Acceptance or Forgiveness
55. The Cockroach Syndrome: A Story
56. Feeling Guilty About Leaving Your Marriage?
Chapter X: On Affairs and Feeling Betrayed
57. Is There Life after an Affair?
58. “I Never Thought It Would Ever Happen to Me!”
Chapter XI: How to Care for Those who are Going Through Marital Breakdown
59. Effective Care for Those Going through Marital Crisis
60. Dumped More than Once: How Do You Help Them?
PART II: PERSONAL GROWTH
Chapter XII: Understanding Yourself
61. What Type of Cup Are You?
62. On Being a Nurturing Person
Chapter XIII: Love
63. Liking Versus Loving
64. Paying Your Dues: An Interesting Definition of Love?
65. Self-Esteem Versus Self-Love
Chapter XIV: Empowering Yourself
66. On Taking Responsibility for the Quality of Your Emotional Life
67. “I’m Stuck!”
68. Self-Discipline: The Foundation of Excellence
69. “I Don’t Feel Like”
70. On Blaming
71. “I Wish I had”
72. Sponge, Stone, or Sugar
73. Is Your Night of Darkness Caused by Your own Shadows?
74. Compromising Versus Transcending
75. Being Nice Versus Being Good
76. Some Thoughts on Being Self-Absorbed
77. Some Thoughts on the Habit of Worrying
78. Grieving Well
79. Hope, the Great Sustainer
80. Be a Candle
81. The Secret of Living Well
Chapter XV: Want to be Happy?
82. What Do You Desire Most?
83. On Being Grateful
Read it for reflection, insight, personal growth and marital and family happiness. We hope the book will be a blessing to you and the people in your life.